TIME WILL TELL

A Poem by Tim Cordell and Darya Igamberdiev

When you don’t have it you want it, 

When you’ve got it you give it away. 

Something so delicate, 

Something you can never get back.

How sad to want to claw back yesterday, 

How meaningless to wish upon if only... 

Time waits for no one and time makes you not stuck in the same instance, 

The same feeling,

The same moment. 

You can never enter and leave and be feeling the same...

Time constantly changes you, bends you. 

But what would I be if I didn’t value the time I have to love!

You can only hate the people you love.

I love you, I hate you.

I can’t seem to figure out the difference 

Because I am equally passionate in demonstrations of both. 

How is it? 

That you make me want to be so close,

And yet make me so afraid that with each step I take forward,

You take one backwards.

So we dance. 

And we touch, and we tease,

And you say things,

And I love how beautiful they are.

You keep checking what the time is.

As I make sure you want to stay. 

I keep asking paranoid questions,

And you give me answers too perfect.

That I love, and I hate, 

And I question,

And I brush off.

It’s one moment,

And another.

We go around, 

We dance. 

A moment to laugh,

A moment of playfulness captures

The essence of sand in an hourglass, 

It moves through time,

Trapped into repetitions of the familiar.

How quick time can change its course,

And consume that moment. 

Just as easy as you want me close,

You push me away... 

Time has you like a puppet on a string...

And how obvious,

What you say is not what you want...

I told you I was just looking for fun,

Now why did you go and believe me? 

I know I said I like to sleep alone,

But please don’t go, 

That was another lie. 

Am I really a good liar? 

Or do you want to believe me? 

Looking at you is like,

Looking into a funhouse mirror.

Just like me but different

In the spaces where the glass caves in and out. 

I know I act like I need nobody. 

I'm a liar can’t you see? 

I’m a terrified liar. 

Can you make me laugh? 

It’s hard to sit in this. 

Hard to sit with you.

Just wanting to give you,

What you want,

And give me what I want,

And wonder whether or not,

It’s the same thing. 

Take off your mask and tell me what you want,

I’m here and only time will tell what can grow from a moment,

One single moment of expression.

Sit with me in this uncomfortableness. 

Why don’t you listen...

Even in the sound of silence there is a voice to be heard...

And then I hear it...

As clear as the sound of breaking glass, 

A moment of clarity of how foolish to think,

That over time you would change! 

Time holds a clear memory of your subconsciousness, 

It surfaces into the wild like a knife thrown into your flesh,

And only once the adrenaline leaves me,

And I stand looking back at a time that once was...

Then your pain consumes me. 

And so you’re gone. 

And I’m left holding on to

A specific kind of happiness.

The kind I force on myself 

To escape the pain I hold

In my other hand, 

Along with nothing that you 

Left behind. 

A nothing that fills the room.

Walls whispering that 

You won't be back. 

And I laugh. 

Because I have allowed it.

To delay the inevitable. 

I want to stay in this room

Filled with your nothingness

For a while. 

Nothing is still something 

If it's the absence of you.

You, who gave me 

A hundred years in a night. 

A thousand words with a look. 

A million ways to prove, 

That time doesn’t exist like I thought. 

Time is the fragile tip of a glass,

And one of the greatest gifts you can give.

Have you been lost in thought? 

Drifting away into the careless beauty

Of the power of thought,

Imagination to manifest what you desire, 

Believe or just breathing the thoughts

In and out to slow your mind....

Time will tell.